the beginning

Ok so I am on this journey and I made some declarations and now I am taking detours. So i guess I have a different tree to climb. So yes my rocky tasted better today and the fact that i was awakened earlier than usually wanting to be awakened, but if you have a sweet alarm one doesnt mind. And tonight the snow looked even more prettier on the trees than ever before. Driving home in the blinding snow, I asked myself why are we here? I never expected to be here. I thought the last trip had bumpy spots and deep rutts. But wow this one, yikes.I guess I like seemingly impossible odds. becuz this oh my... It feels like the right path, but i know too much so i hesitate. Do I believe god to be a miracle worker or not? Cuz that's what's looming. If I allow myself to tumble down the rabbit whole how fast, how hard will the thud be to come.
I do want this trip. I now realsize just how shallow I am. I see the rabbit sslowly slipping away. Am I ok with this. Sorta. But is that because of other palmtrees? Ok so what do i do for this holiday? Sit and wait and see or do something? I think I will wait this out and see what happens.

Ok so let's makea check list.

cute, height, sense of humor, gentleman, opens and holds doors, starts the car, gets coat, willing to drive, makes effort to pay attention to requests, asks what i want, willing to give up his time. wow. I would be stupid if I didn't persue this. Help me Jesus. I have been intrigued by the rabbit hole and I feel the urge to follow.